Dear Alessia 100421

Are you ready
I never would have been
Ready I mean

No ones ever ready
People fall into this
Everything is on the job training

But the young family killer
Is the sentence
I’m not ready
Or we are waiting to be ready
There is no ready
There’s only every moment you have with your child
Figuring it out
And hopefully you have a partner in the equation
Who doesn’t use the whole thing to torture and control
Hopefully you see
The love your partner have
Increase and pump like Bitcoin on a bull run
Hopefully you see their dedication expand
To fit the difficult job called parenthood

You’re never ready
Because it’s a whole new way of framing the world
Your old frame gets thrown away
So getting your old frame “ready”
Is silly really
When the whole thing is about to goto the junkyard anyway
The old frame has you in the center of it
The new one
Does not
What gets you ready for that?

I suppose a heart full of love
A brain full of life
And the dogs of dysfunction leashed up and barking
At the barriers of your persona’s chain link fence

Everything’s a contradiction
And of course there are things to do
Before the sacred arrival
But in my experience
Those things got done
When the sacred arrival was on her way
Not before in preparation to be prepared for the sacred arrival
Thats what the nine months is for
Prep work
Like a chef preparing his kitchen for a great feast
Accept in this analogy the only thing you consume
Is the experience of sharing the wonders of life
A bit of guidance
And a truckload of faith and love

I’m not ready
Who’s ready
No ones ready
To open your world deeper into the chaos of love
New lives and personalities you sacrifice everything for
Why wouldn’t you?
You can’t take it with you
Not your experience
Not your money
Not your love
You gotta give it all away to keep it
Everything is a contradiction
The more you let it go
The more you have it

Life is an outrageous blessing
Generations
Previous to our own
Had a more functional philosophy around all this I think

Back in my parents generation
They just had kids cause that’s what you did
And you got married and had them young
It was weird if you didn’t
The concept of I’m not ready hadn’t entered the lexicon yet
It was like eating
Or going to school
Or finding a job
Or any other sure fire benchmark of being alive
It wasn’t a questioning your readiness
It just was what you did
And before you knew it
You had a new frame to live from where you were no longer the center
But in the center
Was your child
In the center was sacrifice and you were grateful for it
Because without it you were driven mad
In a fun house built on a reoccurring you
Different permutations
Different stages
Of a me centered Union with self

But let me say
Obviously you can have a fulfilling life without kids
And you can take yourself out of the frame without them as well
I’m just saying
It’s more difficult
Not as automatic
Kids are like a get out of jail free card
Psychology speaking
You can escape without them
But you’ll need a shiv
And a poster and you may need to tunnel your way out
Slowing scraping one place on the wall

This is all a long winded way of saying
The relief of having a child isn’t spoken about enough
What’s talked about is the pressures of it
And the sacrifice
But when you break down what’s getting sacrificed
A world revolving around yourself
I think most would volunteer that up for the slaughter
And those that wouldn’t
I don’t think they’ve thought it through

Disclaimer and side note
Again I’m only relaying my experience
And celebrating the gift I feel a child can bring
Of course there are many ways to skin a cat
To live a life
To be fulfilled

I’m a late to the party parent
So I do have a perspective I think that’s worth sharing
Also I’m an artist who is often on the right side of obsession with my work
IE
I often love what I do
And had I never had a child I would not have considered my life wasted
Far from it
But on the other-side of your arrival
I can’t imagine my life without you now
The frame changes
And will never change back.

You’re two months old now
And you smile everyday
Babies develop a social smile around 8 weeks in
You’re right on time
But your mama swears you are advanced
I don’t know if you are advanced or right on time
But you’ve changed the molecular structure of the world
So to me you are magic
My friend told me before you were born that it would be like
Having my heart just exist outside of my body from that moment onward
I’m not sure how immediate that was
But it certainly is that way now
And more and more everyday

This week we are learning video editing
And I’m gonna work on finishing my album
Also your mama and me are going or have gone
Full keto this month
No more honey
But now it’s monkfruit with our yogurt
And keto cookies and milk when we need a late night snack

Slowly I’m checking back into social media
I feel slightly guilty for letting the battle against tyrannical propaganda go
But it was self preservation
And now the self that I’m preserving has you at the center of it
I have to concentrate on providing
And not allow those avenues to close down
From my “radical” ideas

Opening my eyes back into those worlds
It seems the mainstream (or a side of the mainstream) is now echoing what I was saying months ago
It seems more and more popular voices are battling and finding support
Against the forces of oppression and mandates
The insanity of tyrannical control getting its feet put to the fire
Is gaining public support
In the comment sections
Of people like russell brand making videos questioning the mainstream narrative
It’s thousands upon thousands of comments
All echoing support against the push for tyranny and control
I just checked
In 21 hours a video about the wu Han lab leak getting messier
Got 15 thousand comments
And 68 thousand likes
Less than five hundred thumbs down
He has a bigger viewership than CNN by a long way
People know en mass that they’ve been duped
It’s comment after comment
In support
And calling for the heads of Fauci and the rest who have propagated all this

Flu cases during pandemic

2020-2021 flu season 1822 cases
2019-2020 flu season 38,000,000

I mean at a certain point
It’s just in front of our faces

The narrative is changing
What was a righteous stance a few months ago
Is less so
Now
And that scene or frame will change quickly and on a dime (I think)
And when it does
Look out
History has shown us what happens in cases such as these
Cases of medical experimentation
And mandates
And livelihoods being stolen
And people being backed into corners
Where the illusion of choice is stolen
People aren’t happy waking up out of nightmare illusions such as these.

But it’s still a tale of two worlds
The propaganda is still functioning and
And breaking down simultaneously
So it’s a strange time
This era will be defined by cognitive dissonance
And everyone thinks the side they aren’t on is guilty of misinformation
I know what I think
And I suppose time will tell
For what it’s worth no matter what your viewpoint on this is issue is
I wouldn’t hate you for it
Or cast you at
Never. No way.
Whatever your perspectives
I can understand how arrived there
I might not agree
But I understand
And I don’t think that makes me a saint of understanding
Just human.