Dear Alessia 102521

As long as we’re moving forward I’m not in a hurry. It’s when I don’t see the movement that I start to worry.

Betrayal is a slow build
It dawns on you in stages
Only when you walk away
Do you get to see the cages

The ones who threw you under
The ones who broke your trust
Flipping down the sidewalk
Underneath the bus

Betrayal is a slow build
I never thought it would be you
It’s about your weakened boundaries
And the traps you made it through

In the dawn of new beginnings
In this season before time
Locked in useless slumber
Climbing back into my mind

Betrayal is a slow build
One day it comes to you
Who left you when you needed
Them to come back through

And the thing with betrayal
Is to really move on from it
You have to allow it to land
Allow the realization in
And the full meaning behind it.
Because only then can you move on
Only then can you allow inspiration back in

Until then youre trapped
In its vortex
Like some kind of invisible prison

But once you stop running from it
Once you admit that you’ve been it’s hostage
Only then can you hatch your plan to escape
Participate in your own rescue
Only then can you stop
Betraying yourself
Understanding who did what
And turning off the gaslights
Let your heart break ten thousand times
Like eggs at a busy Sunday diner
And then eat the omelettes of your pain
So that you can move on
And look for new lives
New challenges
Let go of the ones who let go of you
Who threw you away like garbage.
Let go of them without too much thought

Betrayal is a slow build
It dawns on you in stages
It bonds you too a memory
Makes it hard to turn the pages
And memory is a ghost
If you focus on it rages
You dismantle it like a bomb
Which leaves your world in stages.

I finally got really good sleep last night
Your grandma and your Uncle Sam came and visited us last night
Sam helped us set up the new podcasting station
And both of them doted over you
And how perfect and cute you are
Sam said it’s like you pulled her out of a renisannce painting at a museum
He called you a work of art
But you are more like a window to God
A little Buddha
Getting bigger by the day. By the hour.

We have nice forward momentum
And much we want to accomplish
The deviation from the plan
From the grind of albums and gigs
Is actually quite nice in ways
An opportunity to rebuild different avenues
And to spend all my time bonding with you and your mama

Don’t get me wrong
I love music and performing but I did that for so many years
So many years I was dependent on that
On people’s perception
On winning fans
And the pressure of getting people to shows
All that stuff

It’s nice to let all that go
To take a breath
A real breath
And just be open to wherever life takes you
Let go and let God
And anyway what choice do we have
Building new digital avenues
And thank God for NFT’s
And some good choices
I can relax a bit
Lean into this time
And without panic really decide on the next path ahead

It’s like God has given me this reprieve and awareness that no matter what I do we will be taken care of
The skies the limit on this invitation
Into new dreams
Into really letting the past go
And letting it go all the way.

Betrayal is a slow build
But once you finally face it
Once you turn towards it
And say hey what do want from me?
It wanders off rumbling under its breath like a drunk in an alley
And then it turns around suddenly
And reveals
The face of a teacher
Smiling surpeticously

It says to you
In his eyes without words
The teacher is now the master
You wake up
From a dream of limitations
With shackles and chains broken all around you
You get up
Dust yourself off and move on like nothing ever happened
Not like nothing ever happened
But more like
Knowing what happened can only help you now
What was meant for your harm
Becomes your secret weapon

And in your liberation
Is the cutting off of the energy source you were providing
By the negative charge of your betrayal
And so in that the double crossers
Wake up as well
With nothing but the Karma of their actions like a backed up sewer system
Bleeding through their walls
Your moving on enrages them because it leaves the heat of what they did on them
A heat that’s hard to shake
A heat that increases in proportion to your ability to move on
And your ability to move on
Increases by your ability to forgive
But you can’t jump into
Without first acknowledging just what happened
Just who did what
And who didn’t do a thing
Not so you can be mired in self pity
But so you can let it all go
And move on to what’s next.

We live in a world shattered by a psy op
And that’s not conspiracy
The proof is in the pudding

If you’ve lost life long friends
And family
If you’ve judged your fellow man
As something dirty
Or undeserving of basic rights and consideration
Because of their viewpoint on an experimental medication
If that has occurred within you
Then I can say you are a victim of a psy opp
You have been manipulated into irrational conclusions which have danger written in their DNA
A 24/7 media campaign telling you how to think about certain people who think certain things
Encouraging a lack of empathy and understanding
Volunteering a nefarious motivation
Which are corrupt to the core
And far away from the truth of the matter.
But I digress

We live in a time
No matter the reason
Cause in the end does the reason even matter?
We live in a time
Beneath many worlds that shatter
Where betrayal is signpost to freedom
Passing through a station
You need to move on from
Lest you fall asleep on the tracks
And get run over by the train of regret
Don’t let that be you
Turn and face the drunkard of indignity
And say to him simply
Do you want from me?
He will smile
Turn around and stumble off
And that will be the only answer you ever get
But it will also be
The only answer you ever need

Betrayal is a slow build
It dawns on you in stages
Read the book of your life
And flip the burning pages.