Deep within we dive for freedom
What could I say to you this morning ?
My energies feel refreshed and restored
Answered prayers from a three day fast
Walking for hours in Brooklyn praying
For everything under the sun to shift
The shifting world going this way and that
And the challenge of raising you and remaining a family
Is fulfilling but real
You can’t get lost down demonic avenues
Though demons may be calling you
In the name of Jesus Christ I rebuke the spirit of fear
In the name of Jesus Christ I cast out any demonic forces
And all the spirits of addiction
Addiction is always a form of fear manifesting across your life like a snake wrapping up the tree producing the fruits of your labor and the possibility of love
Except for your addiction to milk! 🙂
That is probably about survival (kidding of course it is!)
But I can see how intense the networks of need are when human beings first arrive here
On this planet called earth
As a parent you have to shift from living for yourself to living for your child
But keeping some kind of balance for yourself and each other (your partner) in the equation
That is if you’re lucky enough to have a partner
We protect our alliance through praise
Prayer and therapy
And it’s moving rather well (the machine of our love) through the challenges of these times and the challenges we’ve provoked by speaking up
As well as our own personal challenges and demons
(Every human has them)
And those intense prayers to Jesus really work coupled with the fast (just broken last night. Three days)
To break through to new layers and levels of inspiration
The gift of insight and a light creative and confident spirit are the fruits of that particular spiritual labor
None of these challenges would I be able to do on my own
And beyond the help of the love from you and your mother
Human love is limited
We falter
We all do the best we can
Even the haters with their mixed up wires
Egging internal bombs going off
Breaking a fractured reason
Littered with demons
Guiding their bones on puppet strings made of fire
It’s for these reasons we pray for them
And set ourselves free by the wings of forgiveness
You determine the course of your salvation
But when you are born here
There is a purpose behind it
And that purpose isn’t simply to survive
There is a relationship within
That you have landed here to cultivate
And through cultivating that relationship
All others will fall into place
And the lord will restore you and redeem you
Transfix
And transform you
Who knows how it will be when you get older
But here now
And for many years in the past
The terrain to trust is a hard won step
Past fear
Demonic voices
Delusion
Hatred
Pain
And lust
Everyday we refocus
On the terrain of trust
And when you live by faith
You aren’t immune to the knowledge of the corrupted and even sacrificed view the world holds towards people of faith
Though that view seems to be shifting
In light of the endless spiritual war
We are all obviously engaged in
And not just spiritual but psychological
Metaphysical
Actual
Syringes flying through the air
Like hornets at a festival for satan
Walk by faith not by sight
We who cultivate faith
Know of its shaky reputation here on the material plane
People of faith often chastised as crazy
Or weak or dumb
So those tropes follow you around your days
Like
Barking demonic puppets nipping at your feet
And having faith and living by faith
Isn’t a perfect solution
It is the only solution in my view
But it’s not perfect
You don’t start off everyday in a whirlwind of grace
Just because you are pointing your spaceship that way
But we use faith to break the puppets of perfectionism apart as well
And in your toolbox of faith
Prayer is both your hammer and your nail
Prayer is your connection to the most high
Who you can talk to like a friend
Through out the day
And always know you are never alone
But you have to walk by faith to get there
And passed your own imposters syndrome
Your own judgments
As to why you need this magical connection
Built on invisible wires of cosmic love
Built on trust in a world locked in a prism of fear
So many of the fallen reflecting that fear back to you
Confused and twisted by the manipulations of the media
As to what their purpose here is even supposed to be
We are guided in the wrong direction
And spend years building houses of cards falling down
Trying to live in bedrooms breaking apart
And shacking up with demons
Who possess our psychological inadequacies and reflect those back to us perfectly and without hesitation
Baiting us all the time with the holes left in us
By the failures of our families of origin and society’s downfall
And this is the strange way we grow
The strange way human beings become whole
And find their way back to faith
Back to Christ
It works if you work it
They say in the rooms of AA
We start our days with prayer and finish them that way as well
Before every meal
And through out the day as well
Never surrender your connection to the most high
And never underestimate the motivation of the world to break it
But in my view
That only stands to strengthen it
For without it
We float in bitterness cultivating hopelessness and depression
Without purpose
We become a self sacrificing weapon (aiming back at ourselves)
And fall into the spirits of addiction
Addictions like a field of birds chirping around all of us and all the time
On this plane
You must fight for heart
Fight for your love
Fight for body
Your free will
And your mind
But when you travel through the clouds of bitterness and betrayal
And you keep your connection focused on him
Focused on prayer like a diamond you can polish and keep in the side pocket of your soul
You make it through the rage that was meant to belittle you
You make it through the vortex of shame
And fear
And the freedom in your spirit
Becomes more concise and more clear
And rejuvenation for the days ahead
Become precious gifts you walked through flames to get
To overcome those kind of obstacles
The world and God are paying attention
That is the game here
You’ve been out here to cultivate that relationship within
Against a myriad of seemingly insurmountable obstacles
Like an obstacle course painted by the devil
Across fields of damnation
Why is it set up that we fight for a hard won salvation?
I don’t know
That’s beyond my pay grade of understanding
The point of this exercise?
Why we don’t just float into a pre made perfection and grace
Without real challenges that threaten the safety of our souls?
I have no idea
But the stakes here are real
They have to be
This
Isn’t a dress rehearsal
People have suffered through the ages
And have been left permanently broken and deranged
By the flames of the beast
Always clawing it’s way into all of us.
Prayer is the only weapon that sets him free on a new course of damnation
Lord Jesus
I rebuke any and all demons of fear
I cast out all demonic forces
My sin has given passage too
Lord Jesus forgive me for those sins
Thank you for your protection
And your salvation
Words like these hold power
In the fields we play these games on
The relationship you were out here to cultivate
The one with the most high
The truth resonates
And we will go through years of questioning it
But ironically it’s through our
reason
(A reason we have been led to believe is fractured by the need for faith)
Which is cultivated and made whole
Through the very faith which is said to be
Proof of its absence
Our reason
Once made whole through faith
leads us back to salvation as well
That is if you can rescue it
From porn
Malnutrition
Drugs
The media
And all the other surrounding demons
Begging you to be divorced from it
It will lead you back to proper praise
It will deduce your homeward road
Through the years of misguided attempts to find wholeness on fractured planes
You will come back to faith
You will be stripped of all but your ability to pray your way back into salvation
Blessed are the meek
For this very reason
And blessed are we to live in these times of tyranny and damnation
For it leads back to the purpose of our time here
To cultivate the only relationship which can walk us through these fires with our minds intact
With our will and our clarity intact
With our confidence and love intact
Being guiding lights in the dark tunneling of an infinite night
Your soul came here to be on trial
This is a strange courtroom
Where you have to advocate for yourself
Again through prayer
(But in truth Jesus is your lawyer, the jury and the judge)
And proper praise avoiding sins of despair
Which lead you into ever entangling weeds
That turn into snakes
And poison your reason away from your purpose
Until your soul descends and you become a shell of your former self
Lost and locked into a hatred spurned on by a lack of purpose
The world will trick you anyway it can
But we are
Forgiven instantly when we submit our will in the right direction
We can be restored
And rejuvenated
By the grace of our lord
And once we experience it
Over and over again
Your reason lines up with your faith
And you become unstoppable
In the power of prayer
But everyday you wake up to the reality of choice
And everyday you redirect your light to him
As the wings to your freedom grow into surrender
And you fly beyond the world where demons can no longer reach you.
Good morning homeward dove
And it is a good morning
A great one in fact
My faith is restored and my sense of purpose is provoked by the light I see in you
Dear Alessia
Sitting outside waiting for a parking attendant that never comes
Avoiding tickets
And editing this blog
Of these letters to you
Hopefully you will grow to understand the heart from which they come
And hopefully these dark days will allow them to survive and wind up on your lap one day
It’s 1016 am
The car is safe now
I’m gonna run into the city and back
Then make your mama some breakfast
And get back to the business of building our world
Or watch it being built
By my hands on puppet strings of faith