Dear Alessia 121021

Don’t waste time beating yourself up
Defeat comes from within

I mean don’t get me wrong
The world is obviously a brutal place
In nature jaws grip guts and send wanderers into oblivion
Soldiers get lost on battlefields never to return to home again
And when you fight tyranny
You will be tested with extreme loss
And a pressure to make it all just go away
To relent to the status quo
So you can have comfort food and unwind before a fire
But our ancestors knew that life had more to do with cold showers and retribution
Than hot epson salt baths
And scrolling NFT trades
While dreaming of a better life
With peoples minds caving in

I’m drinking coffee from a bowl this morning
Both you and your mama are still asleep
Here are the goals
Write lyric sheets
Organize paintings
Fill out tax info
Set up the studio and listen to a mix
Trade watches on 47th street
Watch dusk breakers and try not to paper hand the three I have left
But maybe trade one more and then the other two will just be house money
Watch the phunks take over the world and wish I had more

Wishing you had more is a trap though
And can send you spiraling in this life
But to be content
Is the stuff of mystics
Or wise men
To be content is a prize everyone is chasing
And no one quite gets there
Because it is too much of a challenge
For us to really live up to our potential
You have to be perfect
And then if you’re perfect
You don’t let go enough
There is no perfect solution
You do what you can
You do the best you can
With whatever cards you been dealt and that’s it
Don’t beat yourself up

And if things ever get dark
Or before they get dark
Turn to the lord and pray

It’s uncomfortable to hear it for some
But all roads finally lead you
To turn over your difficulties to the lord
You could even say life is series of breakdowns
Til you find your way
Back to the beginning and willing to surrender
The ego runs it’s games
And is disgusted with concepts like these
You mean you can’t handle everything?
The ego says
And the answer is always
Try my friend and come back to me when you find out
The ego is a small box trying to squeeze into itself an infinite world
Only a small part fits
To fully embrace all of it you have let go into your own limitations and accept a higher power
Is necessary for most things

My little goals for the day
Hopefully I’ll get to one or two of them
Did I mention organizing this blog?

The attempt to give
The attempt to help
So often met with animosity

You have to laugh and once again turn it over
My whole stance is to resist tyranny

How could that be unpopular?
But it is
Perhaps it’s a question of style
Or just being unlikable

I can live with unlikable
I can’t live without freedom
So you make sacrifices and once again
Simply do the best you can

We are facing trials for our soul
We want to make it about tv shows and personalities
But it’s all much more than that

This is far too big a production
For it to simply be a spinning ball we hang out on for awhile

Zoom out
When it doubt
Zoom out

There is a purpose to this party
If you think about it there has to be

There are stakes
And mistakes
A good breaks
(Thank God for those)

Get comfortable praying baby
No life worth a hill of beans doesn’t lean on it

Cause to be out here changing anything at all
You must be out on a limb

To be out on a limb
You have to lean on something

Invisible hands holding you up to the sun
Your fragmented ego
Falling off you like tattered clothes

You think to yourself
That’s what I was protecting?
As you get embraced into the sky

Our lives are short
But eternity is forever

From here we don’t return to darkness
At least I would be shocked if that’s the result
All this build up for nothing?

It doesn’t really make sense.

Dusk breakers was a good trade. Lord knows I’ve made some bad ones

That’s ok
Being humble is good
It refocuses you to the source of all that’s eternal
And nestled in his bosom
You ask for help and receive it

You don’t have to do this alone
And you can’t do it alone

People can pretend for an entire lifetime that they don’t need anyone
But limited ego and a shoulder to cry on
But that can’t be the case
The sky is too big for that
The sun too mysterious
Love and loss to intense
Freedom too valuable
tyranny too present
Those that need your help
Those that need your voice
Too willing to find you in the dark
Words too powerful
Hope too sought after
And death too much like a blue moon falling in the ocean
For this all to be an accidental sacrifice

Friendship too beautiful
Poetic and rife with betrayal

The dreamers all looking for a song
To sing along
But no voice is lining up
So what we have is a cacophony of madness
A choir of the disenfranchised
Begging for a new world to begin

Little do they know
Their televisions
Are the weapons aimed at their soul

Giving them false alpha
And a reason to betray their creator.

Little girl
Don’t lose sight of that voice that sings with you in the night
The Lord’s Prayer
Is old fashioned
But it will hold you there tight
To the brightest light

Our father who art in heaven
May we come and laugh with you there.