Dear Alessia 122721

Part 3 (down a street of shattered glass)

Henry and Pepper
Found an apartment in Cobble Hill
Down a street of shattered glass
The cars had been broken into the night before
Smash and grabs
Five or six of them
Shattered passenger sides of else black glass in the drivers seat
Careful Henry said as Pepper walked through
What looked like precious gems
Or strange ice floating on an island of asphalt
They saw an opening in a building around the corner and just outside of all this and ran in
Up a flight of stairs they managed by following path beneath floor boards
Wires and walkways
Widows and dust
And a radiator not yet on at the end of the summer
They smelled food and rotting food from industrial sink with piled up dishes
Henry said to Pepper this must be the place
Benny and Carol walked by another young couple in love
The local cockroach community.
This must be the place said Henry
They ran into dark corners and cracks when they heard the front door open and the humans walk in
Another young couple in love
The woman was pregnant and the man opened up the fridge and Henry over heard him say
I think we should do a home-birth and if anything happens we are
Close to a hospital
The woman agreed
Can you believe it she said? Only a couple more weeks and she will be here
A whole other person
That’s how that works the man said joking
What do we call her
Escoda or Alessia the woman said
Escoda is a brand name the man said
It’s gotta be Alessia
She laughed and said ok
Pepper looked at Henry and said
Henry I want a baby too
Henry said shhhhh be quiet they’re gonna hear us
Did you hear that? the man said
What said the woman
I thought I heard a mouse
Oh no! Said the woman we gotta keep this kitchen cleaner
Yes yes we do said the man
I’ll get some traps at the hardware store
Henry smiled hidden in the dark
He whispered to Pepper they think we are dumb enough to fall for those traps. What a joke.

Weeks past and Henry and Pepper would listen to the humans talk about what was coming
They watched video after video on mid wifery and home pregnancy testimonials
The man ordered a first aid kit and cpr pumps in case the lungs needed a boost or to prepare for any strange occurrence
The man said to the woman
There will be a time when you think you can’t do it
And you’ll ask me to take you to the hospital
That time comes
From every testimony we’ve seen
We need some kind of safe word to let me know how serious you are
They laughed watched more testimonials
As the evening fell and took them into their dream space
One night The woman (the pregnant human female) went to the bathroom and screamed
The man woke up and ran outside the room
She said look and kept expressing panic in her voice
It’s a cock roach
Get rid of it she said

(It was Carol walking home from the
Cockroach club a little tipsy
And taking in the sites in the hallway before the bathroom
The booze making her brave
Benny saw her from the cracks
And Henry and Pepper also heard the screams
Everyone awake now and looking Carol
Just standing there
Unaware or suicidal maybe both
She had mood disorders and hadn’t taken her medication in weeks
Bugavan and cockzack
She didn’t like that they made her fat
And took the magic from her eyes she would say
Carol was a poet and had a way of expressing herself which was dynamic but also led to times like these reckless behavior
She knew better
To expose herself so boldly
A week ago she said to Benny
You ever get sick of being a cockroach
Whaddya mean Benny said?
He didn’t like it when she talked like this
Benny loved Carol more than anything or anyone
But Benny was different
He didn’t have artistic ambitions or a vision like Carol’s
For him life was much more simple
He enjoyed a hard days work of scavenging food and then unwinding in front of the television
Just being content
Carol could never sit still though
She loved Pink Floyd and the song about crazy diamonds
She said Benny that’s me
I’m a crazy diamond
I wanna blow up like a supernova
I want something more than just survival
I wanna touch the light
Have you taken you medication Benny asked concerned
She looked away and then looked back at him
That just dulls me she said
It takes my dreams away
And my poems and makes me fat
Benny loved her
And he loved all this about her
But it worried him
He knew it was dangerous somehow
He knew that the light inside her
What made her special
Could also hurt her
She was more of a supernova than she even knew
There she was in the hall
In her head she thought
Why can’t I be here
I’m beautiful
There’s no reason I need to hide in the cracks
In the dust in the dark
I can stand here
She was buzzed
Earlier that evening she went to the club without Benny and had a few too many drinks
And now this
The woman kept screaming
Get rid of it. Please!!!
Really ?The man said
Cockroaches freak you out that much?
Yes she said half crying and gulping for air to express how disturbed she was
The man took a paper towel from the kitchen
And without a though
Squashed Carol beneath it cleaning the guts from the floor with a few wipes
Benny screamed within
Pepper and Henry looked at each other frightened
The man said
Mice freak me out way more than Roaches ????
A few days later
Pepper and Henry saw Benny who had been drunk and was still drunk since that night
He no longer cared about anything at all
His reason for life had been extinguished with an after thought
The crazy diamond
Shining in the ethereal
He had dreams of Carol every night
She came to his dreams
And said Benny it’s gonna be alright
It’s much nicer here now
Where I am now
I can stay in the light
I can stay in the light
Benny woke up slurring
I can stay in the light
I can stay in the light

Part 4

Months went by until the woman started screaming again
But this time it wasn’t from seeing a roach on the way to bathroom
This time it’s cause you were being born
You entering the earthly plane
A land of a thousand dramas
All happened before you were born
And all will happen again sometime after
We all come from the almighty and all stay in the palm of his hand
Carol looked over us from the astral plane
She forgave the man for squashing
From on high she knew it was just the order of things
And that death is not the end just like birth is not really the beginning
But a continuing thread of light and life eternal expressing and expanding itself further
Pepper was also pregnant
and Henry had never been happier
Benny was still drunk and broken
But he had friends who cared for him so there was still hope that he could turn it around
When tragedy falls
When loss takes root
It is our duty to grow through it
To ascertain what gifts lie below the loss and seek them out
Help coming into fruition
Into full bloom

The woman was screaming and had been screaming for days
The man was tending to her
And doing what he could but in many ways it was between the woman and the baby inside
The process of being born
More complicated than dying
Also rife with loss but more so new beginnings
It shares that with death as well
Two sides of the same coin
We flip through eternity back and forth
Death and birth
Heads and tales
It’s a relief that in the end none of this matters
In the end we all join energy in the astral plane
Become one with God and get forgiven for our short comings if we can find the humility to repent

I wanna do a home birth too Pepper said
Henry looked at her and smiled
And said
As if we have a choice

The woman
Screaming in the tub
She’s coming she’s
Coming she’s coming
My water broke she’s coming
The man kneeled in front of her and reached for the head starting to emerge
Their lives shifting in profound ways
The head emerging
Life like a freight train coming down infinity’s tracks
So fast and so sure
And so much deeper than ever before
Carol watching it all with a giant smile in the astral plane
A poem languishing in her head

Love is the engine
Love is the source
Love is the miracle
Love and only love
Of course.

The man pulled baby gently helping her out
She cried so loud
Her lungs clearing the liquid
It’s healthy to hear loud cries
He brought her to her mamas breast and she began suckling immediately
The chord attached to the placenta within
Infinity’s thumbprint
As new life begins.