Dear Alessia 120121

And just like that it’s December
And you are almost four months
The time is flying like lightning across a desert sky
Life moves at a pace that’s hard to fathom
And your evolution is a wonder to behold

You saw snow for the first time
As your mama and me went on long walks through our new landscape upstate
Endless roads of snow and trees
Far away from the electrical congestion of the city
It’s like your brain relaxes
It’s like you can feel the easing of tension
As nature breaths peace back into you
Whispering I’m still just right here.

The media amping up more fear and division
It’s hard to read
The temperature of society
Who still believes in what the media is telling them
Who is becoming unsure
Of who has seen an agenda behind their messaging from the start

For them it’s obviously just a fear campaign to push the booster which is what they are doing
To others it’s about looming sickness
Which trumps every other concern
Even our rights.

People going jobless and homeless
Addicts resuming their addictions full force
These are other kinds of casualties
Not to mention countless friendships and families torn apart
Depression and suicide
Heading into a long winter
With the fear campaign turned up to ten
And the threat of shut downs imminent
Here we go again.

We relish in the long walks through nature
There is new appreciation that sets in
Deep breaths real trees instead of cell towers and the wind

We go back to the city today but I want to walk that trail again before we do
Me you and your mama
Planning for the future
Saying prayers to Jesus
Asking for protection and guidance and strength
This is some kind of war we’re in now
And so we need to assume a bit of a militaristic approach to life to survive it
Luckily we both like those kind of things and except the challenge to make it happen

I have to find new ways to make a living
Making videos
Making art
Making music
Releasing it on the blockchain
Pushing harder without going insane
We want to document
Our exodus from Brooklyn
And share our strength light love and lust for life with the world
We must tap into our purpose

Why has God brought us here under these circumstances?
If everything happens for a reason
Then it is on us to find that reason
And to understand that life is meant to be a challenge
It’s supposed to be difficult
And it is certainly that these days in spades.

I want to come from a place universal love
And humility
I could have been much softer and more sensitive when giving my perspective in all of this
But we can’t languish in the what could have beens
What we can do is rebuild from the place we are now
We can come from our heart more and more everyday
We can forgive our brothers and sisters
Knowing that we are all under attack
Whether you think that attack is coming from a virus or the Government/media
We can all agree that we are being attacked
And so therefore find forgiveness and love somewhere in your heart
Relax the tension
Relax the animosity and division
The judgement and cruelty

And we can also finally forgive ourselves
And move forward each day to rebuild and rejuvenate
With the spirit of being a needed light in a dark world getting darker.

Personally that’s why I need God
I can’t do those things as a biological unit
Panicking through time
Without meaning or direction
In a universe that is entirely oblivious to me or my survival

I can’t do it framing life that way

I can do it
When I know there a connection
To a personal and loving God
Who cares about the details of my life
And who is invested in me overcoming my own limitations
And the difficulties that spring up all around
I can do it when my soul is on trial for what I do here
And so it matters not just to me
But for the world in general
Where what I do and say makes a difference
Where what you do and say
Makes a difference

A cynic would say
See you need a delusion to get through reality
To which I would say
Maybe you’re right
But I know what I need to get through this life
And what puts me in the best place for the redemption of my spirit

I need forgiveness
And grace and mercy on daily basis
I need supernatural strength and sense of purpose
I need joy and laughter
And closeness and friendship
I need rebuke fear at every turn
And trust that all will be taken care of and provided for

There is only one way I have found that all those things are given to me and more
And so that’s the direction I’m walking towards.

You And your mama are in the other room and she’s having a call with her therapist
We had couples therapy yesterday
I’m proud of us for digging deep and becoming the best possible parents for you
Over coming our own screw ups and limitations
And being graced with this place deep in nature to raise you
It’s answered prayer because we prayed for exactly this.

On our walk yesterday
I said to your mama it’s simple
We should just have a formula that we do everyday

Praise/prayer
Love each other
Write work and document
Something geared towards finance and making money
Exercise
Praise/prayer
Deep breaths. Document and repeat

A militaristic approach to battling past the demons in this life both within and without

We are thrilled to escape the city
But out here there will be a new set of challenges
And it will be purpose driven action which make for the smoothest transition

Our purpose is to shine a light
Come from the heart
Bring music back into the world
Breath our life here
And find a place for you to grow up
Where the magic in your soul is reflected outside of you
By the people and the energy of a magical community that’s not entirely surrendering to fear.

Yesterday on the path we saw a giant horse in a field
I approached the fence thinking he would gallop off
But instead he walked up to me
And put giant snout in my face
I took a couple pics
And talked to him a bit

We’re your new neighbors I said
And we’re looking forward to getting to know you.