The Gift Of Suffering

I’ve been having this thought lately

That so many of life’s questions can be answered based on this one

Does life have a meaning or a purpose?

And like the question

Is there God or not?

The answer can’t be known beyond our instincts and guts

And maybe the nudging of our heart

And yes even on some level logic

But what I mean is no one can know answers to certain questions in anyway that allows them to prove it.

In other words is there a purpose and meaning to life born into it beyond the one we give it ourselves

Were we born with a soul to save

To create some kind of masterpiece of time with?

To commune with God across many trials and tribulations

In a landscape of senseless violence

Abject poverty

Psychopaths on fleek running shit out here

In a world that is also breathtakingly beautiful


Full of Godly smiles on babies faces

And oceanic celebration

Housed in bodies

That make the question of a creator kinda obvious

(At least from my point of view)

We don’t seem to be accidents of evolution

And survival

But rather sources of divine communion

Living in the strange jungle called earth.


I read that suicide rates are at an all time high

39,255 men took their lives

49,500 total

75 percent of those were white people

(Not to make this about race but that is a rather alarming statistic)

What we seem to have is a crisis of purpose

A crisis of faith

A crisis of meaning

And the ability to see a reason to endure

The crisis of life that is innate in being alive

Stuck in the realm of our minds

Of just getting by

In a world that inundates is with visions of success

And people endlessly winning and making it look easy

On one side of the equation

Coupled with stories of unbelievable suffering

Cruel and senseless acts of violence and war on the other side

Seems like a cocktail for hopelessness if ever there was one

Which brings us back to the question

Does life have a purpose?

Beyond mere survival I mean

And if so what is it?

And how do we find it?


I can only speak from my perspective obviously

But the older I get

And the more the challenges of life build

The question of God graduates

From a question we freak ourselves out with while smoking weed with friends

To the central question of life

The question I start my days with and build my hours around

Upon waking up

My mind invariably shifts to ask

Are you their God?

It’s me Joseph

I seek to shift my point of view to a place beyond my mind or my thinking

To the silent space of observation

In the here and the now

Buddhists call it being present.

Christians call it seeking the father

Christians see it as a personal connection

Whereby the creator is in some way helping them through the trials of their lives

Buddhists and Hindus perhaps have a more self empowered viewpoint

Aka I am God

(I’m riffing here so if I’m getting this wrong cut me slack. Just sharing my perspective)

I feel like Christians

Have more of a dependency relationship with the source of all things

Whereas Buddhists are more God like themselves when tapping into the source

Obviously there is tons of overlap

Christians work through forgiveness and repentance

To have Christ consciousness born within

Or to put it another way

Overcome the ego so that Christ himself can be born again from within

Regardless of your mode or belief

What is important is to relate to the spiritual realm

To seek connection beyond the ego

Or the mind

Or thinking

And the mechanics of mere survival

But to understand we have a spiritual purpose here

To travel beyond self concern

And be of service to another


We understand that we need



And Air to survive

But as these suicide rates soar

And the times we live in become increasingly difficult

Perhaps it’s becoming increasingly clear

We need connection to something higher

Perhaps salvation isn’t just for our souls anymore

But for many of us

It’s for our lives as well.

In the context of communion with a creator

(Whoever that creator is for you)

Suffering becomes a gift

Suffering is God’s coercion into the eternal light

Or a trap door out of the limitations of the mind

And all of its schemes

And if the suffering becomes acute enough

And one can endure it without ending their own life

(Side note there are many ways to end a life without suicide as well, pills, porn and obsession with the whimsy of the flesh can lead to a walking zombie of a life no doubt about it)

If you can endure the suffering

To the point where the only option you allow yourself to have

Is to seek the father

Or be present

To observe the mind and see it for what it is

(Useless babbling in the storm)

The gift of salvation will arise

In fits and starts

With backtracks and missteps

But with dedication and perseverance

Suffering itself will reveal itself to be the biggest blessing

Nothing else would have freed us from the cages of our minds.

So what is the purpose of life?

To big a question to state some kind of firm answer

But my best guess is the purpose of life is to commune with the father

And to allow him to be born within

In a kind of cleansing of these battered souls we are born with

And then to help others find a meaning as rich

Kinda like CrossFit for the soul

With God as our personal trainer

Do I know one hundred percent that this is how it is?

No I do not

Am I some kind of guru on the mountain top who has it all figured out?

Hell to the no!

I’m just a fellow human on the battlefield of life sharing my current perspective

But I can say that when I frame my days with this point of view

My life becomes relatively peaceful

With a kind of momentum that is fun

As old demons and limitations fall away

And new visions and revelations and inspirations

Spring up as if from a bountiful garden

And the fear of the futures inevitable sufferings don’t paralyze me

But rather hold promise for deeper connections

To the one who gave me

This unbelievable gift of life.

So if that’s insanity

Let me be insane.